By: Ashton Seghezzi & Lee Corey
Editor-in-chief and Staff Writer
Being misgendered is an issue that causes a lot of discomfort for many genderqueer people. It can make people feel as though their identity is invalid. For some people, this happens multiple times a day. It can happen anywhere: at home, work and school. People are usually misgendered because others are ignorant of their identity or pronouns, but other times, people misgender others out of malice and deliberate disrespect.
When you meet someone new and they don’t tell you their pronouns or ask you what yours are, it can be challenging to tell them what your pronouns are or correct them when they misgender you. It often feels like a demand even though the only thing you’re asking for is respect. In situations where there is a clear power dynamic, it can be incredibly difficult to tell someone your pronouns or correct them when they use them incorrectly. The younger generation is taught to respect authority figures and people older than them, and specifically correcting an authority figure requires a lot of courage.
It is incredibly important to be aware of someone’s pronouns when talking or referring to them. Misgendering someone can negatively impact them because of how rude and insensitive it can come off as. It can make people feel invalidated and hurt when they’ve been misgendered. English teacher William Lyon brought up that LGBTQ+ students are four times more likely to suffer from depression and suicidal ideation. “Even one adult on a campus who will treat a student with respect and understanding can almost mitigate that. If I can help even one student get through what can be a really tough situation, and all I have to do is wrestle with a pronoun, I am here for it,” said Lyon.
The big struggle is trying to decide if it’s worth correcting someone, and figuring out how to approach it. It is not easy for everyone to correct others around them when they have been misgendered. This can be a result of past experiences, uncertainty or even just fear of potential consequences or negative reactions. If someone has been misgendered enough times, it might feel like a burden to keep reminding and correcting those around them. Along with that, they never know what someone’s response will be when they correct them. Some people take offense to the correction and act like they did nothing wrong, some people might look confused and others will sometimes ignore the request entirely.
Making mistakes is all a part of learning, and there is nothing wrong with accidents when getting used to someone’s pronouns, whether you’ve just met them or they have changed their pronouns. If you make a mistake and a person corrects you, simply apologize and correct your mistake. Over-apologizing and bringing it up several times only brings more discomfort and awkwardness. As long as you are making an effort to fix your mistake, you are learning and being respectful. What hurts is when people agree to someone’s request to use their preferred pronouns but ignore them in future incidents or do make an effort.
Lyon practices students’ pronouns by putting them on his seating chart and practicing getting them right in his head when he grades papers and takes attendance. “That little extra work goes a long way. My students have taught me that I don’t have to be perfect. As long as I am making an honest effort and treating my students with respect, they have always been very gentle about polite corrections. If I mess it up, I try to get it right at least three times in a row right away to lock it in,” said Lyon.
Effort from teachers, family and friends can make a difference in somebody’s life. Be aware of this and make sure you are being mindful of your words and actions.
