By Laurel Merrick and Elle Logue,
Managing Editors.
Cats: the only house pet that would try to get you involved in their pyramid scheme. . . but we love them anyway. If you don’t have a cat, you probably don’t get the hype, but for those who do, you understand. It’s said that cats give off chemicals to make us like them more—which would make sense. We feed them, we love them, we clean up after them; they’ve all probably developed god complexes at this point. And some cats are a little too good at manipulating humans: you see, house cats have a silly little habit of being fat.
But it’s okay because fat cats are cute. Our first cat to introduce is Gingy, cared for by senior Chloe Gallagher. She happens to be the lightest cat on the list, weighing a modest 16 pounds after being a 20-pounder in the good ol’ days. In Gingy’s 14 years of living, she has spent most of her time with Gallagher and her family after being adopted from the Humane Society as a kitten. Gallagher said, “Gingy is a very lazy but loving cat. She likes to talk to [me] a lot and follows me around sometimes.” Gingy is not only a fat cat, but also a cuddly and adorable one.
Sophomore Jace Sullivan happens to be another owner of an obese feline. His cat, Casidy, now only sits at around 18 pounds, but during her glory days of unlimited kibble and overdosing on tuna, she weighed in at 28. Unfortunately, fat cats aren’t particularly sustainable and because of suggestions from the vet, Casidy is now on a diet and only gets fed twice a day. In the case of a kitty apocalypse, that vet is going to be the first to go. “She’s so cuddly and will just lay down and stare at you until you pet her,” said Sullivan. While Casidy is no longer allowed into the house due to an overactive bladder, she is still very loved by the Sullivan family.
Sadly, the diet theme is a constant. Senior Evie Lucey owns two cats, Little Paws and Playboi Catty. Little Paws, contrary to her name, is not particularly little and can still have as much kibble as she wants. That said, dinner has been a disappointment for her because she has been demoted from half a can of wet food down to only a third. “She’s so sweet, she’s my baby, she just gets mean when she’s hungry,” Lucey said.
The final cat on this list is a nine-year-old boy named Ace. Owned by senior Jax Roncelli, who adopted him in 2016 from a family friend, Ace weighs around 18 pounds. Ace is fed a quarter of a cup of food every morning and night and screams until his dietary needs are met. But despite being hangry, he’s still a sweet cat. “He’s like a little old man that happens to share a bed with me. He would probably kill me if I didn’t give him his scratches and wet food, but we have a bond, trust,” said Roncelli. “He’s a chunky little man and I love him. 10 out of 10 weighted blanket.”
Here at SRHS we love big cats and fat cats. It makes sense why the Egyptians worshiped these furry little demons; they’re sweet, very adorable and occasionally loving, even if they have a few extra pounds on them.
