Coca-Cola, ranked

“Whoever You Are, Whatever You Do, Wherever You May Be, When You Think of Refreshment Think of Ice Cold Coca-Cola,” says one of Coca Cola’s old slogans. This tasty beverage has been adored by many soft drinkers and has been a staple in American Society. With a variety of flavors and branched off brands there doesn’t seem to be an end to this company’s reign within our soda industry. Photo by Jerral Agbayani,

Article by Jerral Agbayani and Mary Jane Alexander

Since its inception in 1892, the Coca-Cola Company has been dominating its rivals in its sales, marketing an impressively wide selection of drinks. One of its most well-known beverages that are consumed internationally is Coke. Not to be confused with cocaine, Coke is that sweet, carbonated sugary delight that has consumed the soft drink industry and makes up much of the retail drinks you see on your local shelves. Sprite, Fanta, Peace Tea, Powerade and Vitamin Water; it’s almost impossible to find a store that doesn’t carry a single Coca-Cola trademarked product. However, with so many flavors there are bound to be some that are better than others. As such we have decided to rank the best flavors and are presenting the three best and two worst flavors out of the entirety of the Coke branded drinks.

While higher-ranked cans reinvent the flavor and bring something fresh to the company, Coke Energy is one of those drinks that just fails to meet expectations. This drink doesn’t deliver in flavor and makes for one of the least appetizing flavors out of all the drinks. Where Coke has a rich consistency and is always lush with just the right amount of sweetness to make me want to buy more. The energy drink version simply can’t keep up with the refreshness of classic and makes for a lacking result. Being a consistent energy drinker, Coke Energy doesn’t have enough caffeine, nor sugar, to keep up with competitors. On top of that, the can itself is unappealing which all add up to make for one of the worst energy drinks within the industry.

One of the most polarizing flavors within the many flavors of Coca-Cola is Diet Coke. While it does provide an opportunity for those who can only drink diet sodas It is those who really go beyond the call of duty and go out of their way to buy it for fun, that are the ones that need to go to Coke School. The taste feels almost watered down to Classic Coke and ultimately leaves you disappointed. It makes you regret spending your money on it and, in worse cases, makes you contemplate your entire existence.

Now, one may ask, if these are the worst flavors (according to my cohort), then what are the best flavors? Well, I offer Coke Zero, Coke Orange Vanilla and Diet Coke. Coke zero is fantastic for anyone wishing to diet, or anyone who doesn’t enjoy the overly sweet tang coca cola can have. It keeps all the best parts of coke, whilst removing the calories and sugaring, and murdering your gut slightly-less. 

On the other hand, you have Coke Orange Vanilla, which is fantastic, whether gotten as a variant, such as the coke zero variant, or not. It has an amazing sweet slightly tangy flavor, with this extremely pleasant vanilla kick to it, it creates a fantastic flavor-experience. 

Now here comes the most divisive addition: Diet Coke. My cohort, the previous writer, stated that he finds Diet Coke to be “disappointing” and “ like watered down Coke Classic”, which as any fellow Diet Coke fan can attest, is frankly untrue. Diet Coke, the nectar of the gods, is frankly like the evolution of Classic Coke. Not only does it cut down on calories, but it also once again takes that sharp overly sweet flavor that coke has-giving it a much better light tang-one hard to describe yet is extremely delightful. Also Diet Coke just frankly has an amazing feeling to it, it feels much less sharp on the tongue, and goes down smoother than Classic Coke ever could. 

Overall, taste is subjective, and while some may disagree on which flavor is the best, it truly doesn’t matter in the end, as long as the person drinking their coke can enjoy it. These are just our opinions, for the world to see, and to get unreasonably angry at, as the world always does.Hopefully this was a fun read and hopefully it’ll inspire you to open your preferred can of coke while you sit down and take in your environment. Swig it down, for there will be a day you take your last sip… but hey that’s just a theory, a Coke Theory. 

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